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so sleep alone tonight
Hello! im Celest or you may call me YINGYING! (:I attend City Harvest Church @JW &im in W341! woooooHooooo! Fairfield Methodist Secondary School is somewhere i get my education. Im born on the 5 Dec 1992! so keep that in your head! RAR! D: so, feel free to tag on my board! (: br /> |
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about this blog
This blog was opened by celest to accomodate celest's mindless musings and daily rantings.Do enjoy your stay here, and don't take what's not yours! tagboard
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whatever that has been said;
life has been really hard for me these few days, i thought it was all moving smoothly but i guess i was wrong.. i still cant find my calling in life, &when i THINK it is 'THE ONE', after awhile, it turns out a NO NO. i feel so confuse.im trying to hear Him, im trying to communicate with Him & im trying to reach out to Him! BUT! i still cant feel Him, its so near yet so far. i dont know where i should be heading and i dont know what is good for me and whats not good for me! ): over and over again, the same thing happen.. i really dont know what i should do. talk it out? ITS REALLY HARD! do not give up !
 things sure happens for a reason, maybe this is what God wants me to learn and grow from.. cell group last night was indeed comforting. had prayer meeting and i prayed with Wayne, we spoke our hearts out and which its like my so called first time talking to him like really one on one. usually it'll be in a group but yea, we shared things such as school stuff to each other and not having a stand of defence in between to hide all the flaws we have.. it just seemed like we've know each other for a long time.  i felt comfort during worship and God showed me an image of Him with his arms wide open and asking me to walk towards Him and there He will give me rest..theres this verse in the Bible which says, " Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" Matt 11:28 after reading this verse, i felt really good and yes! that was all i needed right yesterday! i felt so let to yearn* and to pray even more now.. He was there when i needed Him. He never left me to face a problem which i cant solve it myself. there is no problems biggger than God that He cannot solve it. The Valley Of Dry Bones - City Harvest Church listening to the recorded sermon on The Valley of Dry Bones by Pst Kong, it jus kept me thinking and it jus totally 'hit me in the head'. its this thing that he said which is, 'in the point of time when you feel all tired and feel like giving up, jus keep walking, keep praying, keep seeking God..' in other words, do not give up even though you feel dry and empty inside.. but jus keep praying and seeking God till you find back the fire. deep in thoughts. than it broke me down.
sometimes i never wanted to do so much thinking and killing my brain cells so much..den i finally broke down in class today. the thoughts that was running thru my head kept going on and on, it felt like as if it was over. im really afraid to feel like how i felt today, give me no more painful thoughts. i had enough, i need a break.i feel so exhausted, i really cant handle this.. it feels like as if im not ready at all. i tot i knew it all, but in fact, i dont..didnt expect things to turn out this way but it all had to happen; inevitable in other words. i feel like a failure for a moment, i never get things done right all the time! thats why i had to screw my own life. to know who really i am. NEGATIVE! NEGATIVE!! NEGATIVE!!! this is so not ME. take my pain away and bring me away from it. lift me up/ pick me up. bring me away... life is unpredictable
its been really fun these whole week in school &which means, time flies when youre having fun! :) its good that time passes fast but it sucks when exams are approaching like in a months time! ): so many things to be done but with so little timeeeee! ): rar!im so excited to say that nxt tues and wed im gonna play netball again! :D &with my friends whom i havent played with for a long time! like yiting, kae shin and jiayan! :D anyone wanna come and watch? hahah. some street netball in Ngee Ann! wootsss. :D and we formed a team with 2guys! jingjie and vincent :D &&&really hope we can win! hahaha. cos very little teams but yea, hope its gonna be really fun! its been long since ive played netball! :D YAYYYY. i can say sadly that i offically screwed my chinese O level chinese's oral exam yesterday, cos we were like tested on HMT's topic. whereas the others was normal chinese standard ): conver topic was like reguarding Poly Students wearing slippers to school. and i think i went outta point lei! ): cos i brought out an example on the sec students with untidy attire instead of focusing on the slipper issues!): i only realized that after i said thanks to the examiner. like reallys THANKS ALOT !! ): oral was supposed to be the thing to pull my marks for me): RAR! so so so.... urghhh. yesterday we were like playing chop chilli chop and drinking goggles up game! haha. like mins before oral; man, that just shows how much we care about oral! hahaha. *choychoyyyy!* anw! den we sang, 'ive got peace like a river' with hand actions.. like we all sat in a circle and sang it together :D ohyea! chop chilli chop has a hokkien version! ahhah. hiam jio hiam jio tok tok tok! ahhahah :D its supposed to be tok hiam jio tok hiam jio tok tok tok. !! hahah . but the first one sounds more smooth :D rar! i helped them to translate it though! HAHA. its really hilarious! video's on facebook! :D today we did something new! and as usual, vincent is the video recorder. :) we did the marriage ceremony! :D Li Jing lao shi and Sarah Lim! hhaha. damn funny. den Jim was like the flower boy! hahah. think Jim was damn funny cos its like suppose to throw the flower thingy upwards, he go throw at the bride(sarah) & the bride's father(me!) hahhaha. den the class was like the witness and theo was the pastor. LOL . joker sia. i feel so accomplished! like im able to understand the topic MOLE in chem :D haha .like within mins! :D okay lar, at least i was able to do the questions on my own :) rar! im loving the times of attending school now! :D man, tmr got live broadcast frm the recording room to the internal pa system which they are like trying out. hahah. but den, have to report for duty like 7am! D: rar! ive been like reaching school on the dot and now tell me to reach school at 7am!? D: im feeling so sick and tired of dnt man, its like as if its sucking my blood up! ): taking up all my time! ): boooooo! (thumbs down!) &yea, i read one of the newspaper article about this ACS(Barker) guy who has only half a heart, after reading the article, i think his really a brave boy! like his not afraid of the way how people look at him and as his unable to do many things on his own, he still forever stay cheerful! like unlike people who has no disability, they are complaining that everything is jus not enough for them. in the article, there was this that the boy said, "i wish God could bring me back in my nxt life and with the ability to run, jump etc" .. man, i think his really a brave guy. &his best friend had nvr thought that, that day when he saw him collecting his IC, would be the last time his seeing him.. like other words, life is unpredictable! in conclusion, cherish your life and live it to the fullest! :) heavy laden
i feel really heavy hearted inside.. i dont want to say so much about it, im trying to let go of the thoughts, but if i choose to ignore it, its gonna hurt even more.
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